Dark circles

Title: Dark circles

Author: Cosmic
Author's Email: bananacosmicgirl@hotmail.com
Author's Home Page: www.cosmicuniverse.net
Author's Journal: http://bananacosmic.livejournal.com

Words: 920
Rating: G
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort
Characters: Anthony DiNozzo
Pairing: pre-DiNozzo/McGee

Warnings: Pre-slash
Spoilers: Slight for 6x14 “Love and War”

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations from the TV-show “NCIS”, created and owned by David P. Bellisarius and CBS. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Summary: Tony sits by Tim’s bedside. He knows that there are dark circles around his eyes; they are becoming terribly obvious now, after twenty-one hours of worry.

Author’s notes: I wanted to write hurt!Tim. And I like Tony/Tim, so this is the result.

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Dark circles
By Cosmic

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Tony sits by Tim’s bedside. He knows that there are dark circles around his eyes; they are becoming terribly obvious now, after twenty-one hours of constant worry. He hasn’t slept since Tim was brought in.

Tim.

McGee.

Probie.

Whatever. In his head, Tony calls him Tim now, because he looks like a Tim – a small, pale boy rather than the tall, impressive man he usually is. The one he’s become, the one that Tony has watched over the years, seeing him grow from nervous stuttering to seasoned confidence.

He wonders when exactly it became more than just teasing the probie, when Tim grew into something more in Tony’s mind. He knows it’s been there for a while – he doesn’t create fake personas to chat with just anyone; he wouldn’t have done that if it was a recent crush.

But it was nice to be able to flirt with Tim, to talk to him for hours without having to hide behind a mask of silliness and jokes.

Tony wishes desperately for Tim to open his eyes now, even if it’s just to see Tony’s mask.

Tim’s reddened hands are perfectly still against the white hospital sheets. There is a pulse monitor stuck to his finger, and then the bandages start.

Tim looks mummified.

The explosion that knocked Tim out sent shards of glass and shrapnel flying everywhere – most especially into Tim. He managed to shield most of his face, and the bullet proof vest took a lot of it too, but his arms and legs are cut and burned badly, as is his neck and his chin. His hands will hopefully regain full function, but the doctors aren’t entirely sure.

Tony wonders what Tim will do if he can’t use his hands. Tim uses his hands for everything and Tony just can’t picture Tim unable to perform lightning fast searches and triangulate cell phones and whatever other mumbo-jumbo geek stuff it is he and Abby do.

Tony forces the thoughts away, banning the negative. Positive thinking is supposed to help, right? He wants to help.

He hears Gibbs enter the room. Tony knows the sound of those footsteps and he doesn’t have to look up to know that Gibbs is watching him rather than Tim. Gibbs has a way of speaking without talking and Tony can sense Gibbs telling him that he should go home. That there’s nothing he can do here – the doctors and nurses are it now. Anthony DiNozzo can rest.

But Tony can’t bring himself to leave.

Finally, Gibbs walks to the bed and places a cup of coffee on the table beside the bed. Tony smelled the coffee when Gibbs came in but he didn’t think Gibbs had brought any for him. Still, it’s not unexpected – whenever someone on the team gets hurt, Gibbs gets nicer. Tony has never liked it; Gibbs isn’t supposed to be nice, not like this.

Tony sends him a grateful look, taking the warm cup and sipping the bitter liquid.

Gibbs sits down in the chair at the other end of the room, leaning back. He looks calm and collected and yet Tony knows that he’s not. Gibbs is just as worried as Tony. Gibbs’ mask is just as solid as Tony’s.

Tony brings his attention back to Tim.

He watches the slow rise and fall of Tim’s chest, up and down with each breath. He studies the angry red burn marks on what little exposed skin there is; the doctors have bandaged every spot that is more than just slightly reddened, and there are little bits – around Tim’s eyes, nose and cheeks because that’s where he managed to cover himself – that aren’t burned.

Tony wonders how Tim will feel about his looks now. Tony knows Tim’s a bit vain, and Tony is unsure of what he himself would have thought if it had been him lying on the bed, scarred.

But Tony still thinks Tim is handsome. Perhaps even more now, because Tim is lying here because he took the brunt of a bomb that would have killed them all, had Tim not realized it, taken it and thrown it.

They can’t always be lucky; Tim was just a second too slow, a second too late.

Or just in time, perhaps, because a second later and Tim would have been dead instead of unconscious. Tony and Ziva would both have been seriously injured, like Tim is now.

Half full, half empty. Tony isn’t sure what he thinks the glass is.

He sighs softly, wondering what things will be like now. He thinks that it was impossible to tell Tim before – will this make it even more impossible, or open the door to something new? Will Tim want to hide or be proud? Tony hopes with all his heart for the latter but he’s not sure.

He wants to take Tim’s hand but doesn’t dare, least of all with Gibbs in the room. He’s pretty sure that Gibbs knows that Tony feels something more than just friendship towards Tim, but taking Tim’s hand feels like admitting something that Tony still isn’t ready to admit.

Like that he’s in love with Tim.

He blames his lack of courage on rule number twelve.

Tony wishes for Tim to move, for his eyelids to flutter and open, for his mouth to form a tired smile. Tony wishes for things he can’t have, things he doesn’t dare voice.

He sits at Tim’s side, watching and waiting, the circles around his eyes growing darker as the hours pass.

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